20 October 1993

Set Apart

Father, I put my life in your hands.
The world is falling apart.
The Church in pain.
My friends alone in desolation.
You have called me by name from among the multitudes of youth
to stand by your Cross, alone, while they gather to sing and praise.

You are all that I have ever loved,
always been with me, by my side;
going before me always
to prepare a place for me.

So I come as You ask, here I am.
Do with me what You will for my will leads me nowhere.
And You set me apart to stand alone in the dark,
A light of Christ for all to see,
yet blind myself; deaf and helpless.

Set apart in solitude;
The world inside me can't take it.
I surrender it to You and it leaves me here.

I believe when the world crumbles around me,
You'll still be here, and I with You,
together with all who hope in You.

18 April 1994

Let Me Be With You
(Meditation on the tenth station of the Cross.)

Let me be with You
when your heart is full of pain.
When there's nothing left to live for,
Let me give You hope again.
When tides of doubt assail You
and your efforts all seem vain;
Let me be there
right beside You,
Let me look into your eyes.
I give my all for You
as You give your all for me.

23 May 1994

Perfectly Crooked Tree

O perfectly crooked tree,
nothing compares with thee.
There never has been
and never will be
a tree as perfect as thee.

Each limb from your roots is bent;
bent in its own special way.
No tree ever has been
nor ever will be
as perfectly crooked as thee.

"With what do you compare?"
they may ask.
"By what perfect source do you measure?"
I say, "Don't you see?  Tis God made this tree.
And perfect, most perfect is He."

Summer 1994

Hopeless Quest

Through the plains of heaven I see
love and perfect charity.
Humility reigns in God the Son
as souls adore Him endlessly.

O hopeless quest that I might be
a humble loving bride for Thee!

O Lord, most pure and spotless Lamb
look down from heaven and see,
I stand before Thee covered in filth.
In Your compassion, take pity on me!

Hard as I try, I fall and fall.
I'm filled with disgusting pride.
But You, my Lord, my Spotless Lamb,
    see how destitute I am
           with nothing of my own!

Take me, Lord, with You, I ask.
Be Thou my strength and perfect Love
That You might take my hopeless quest,
And look at me that I might see,
You love me as I am.

19 April 1994

Loved Upon His Shelf

I’m lying empty and broken on this cold, clammy floor;

A bowl that once was full of all sorts of lovely things.

Though once valued and esteemed,

Now I lie here empty…empty…

My joys of the past no more.

No longer do hands reach in or towels wipe me dry.

I am forgotten, stored away.

Yet I look to my beginnings: to the hands that held the clay.

Big…strong…loving hands.

Just a bit of earth was I, yet my potter saw so much more.

“A special bowl,” said He, and so I was.

His hands did everything His heart desired for me.

Once complete, He looked at me long and hard…smiling with

     a twinkle in His eyes.

“Perfect!” said He as I sat loved upon His shelf.

That was long ago and now my time has passed.

Now I’m like just another bowl: forgotten and empty on this cold,

     clammy floor.

Yet somewhere there is a heart in which I am still loved:

The heart behind the hands that made me out of nothing.

In this lies my hope:

That one day He will find me,

And I’m certain that He’ll know me.

He will put me back together

To sit forever loved upon His shelf.

16 December 1994

Who am I to love Thee so?
In the darkness of my mind...
In the darkness of my soul...
Such love does not belong to me.
Such love is Yours alone.

27 September 1991

Transition

Unless a grain of wheat shall fall 

Upon the ground and die,

It shall remain a single grain,

And not give life.

Adventure I have lived;

I experienced pain and joy,

Even overcame some fears and heartache

Within the past few years.

Emotions I have felt so strong.

Love and romance did not last long.

There is one love that still remains;

It is the love from God I've gained.

I have felt so many feelings

I never thought I would.

Anger and pain included,

I wondered if I should...

It seems they are important

In the scheme of life.

My heart, it has been broken,

Pierced as with a knife.

I am aware as I break free,

The meaning of it all.

How can a person rise through life

If he never has a fall?

The future is uncertain.

The past was filled with strife.

Today I fall upon the ground.

Tomorrow I give life.